A Co Tyrone man who told police he “identified as a dog” barked, growled, and crawled on all fours while sniffing footwear following arrest, a court has heard.
Damien McClave (41), of Tramline Way in Aughnacloy, was arrested after failing to provide a breath specimen upon being stopped close to his home last December 14 on suspicion of driving whilst unfit through drink or drugs.
When asked to provide a preliminary sample he replied he could not as he identified as a dog and animals cannot perform breath tests.
A search of his vehicle recovered 70 shotgun cartridges and it was later established he did not hold the appropriate firearm certificate.
When charged with the matter he provided “no comment” replies.
At Dungannon Magistrates Court, District Judge Francis Rafferty remarked: “One wouldn’t expect to dog to be able to comment.”
He asked the defence barrister: “What does the defendant currently identify as? An idiot obviously, but is there anything to add to that?”
Addressing McClave, Judge Rafferty said: “I’m not going to punish you for your buffoonery in custody but police have better things to do than deal with people who pretend to be members of the animal kingdom.”
He was fined a total of £650 and disqualified from driving for 19 months, while a destruction order was granted for the seized ammunition.
[Ed: If only Judges would take a similarly down to earth approach to men who identify as women.]