"One thing I can't stop thinking about lately is how heterosexual marriage benefits men and tends to harm women but it's culturally framed as something women want and men resist."

THIS is the Bad Place on Twitter:

This is a meta-study of 18 studies, which show that women become unhappier with marriage faster than men. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22059843
Women initiate the vast majority of divorces in the U.S. – 70% in 1995, according to this 2000 paper. https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract
The statistic that sticks with me: per a 2009 study in the journal Cancer, 21% of women got abandoned by their husbands while sick. Just 3% of men. Control group was 12% divorce rate. Cancer made husbands more likely to GTFO, women more likely to stay.
Here’s some Pew Research data on chores put into a chart by Today’s Parent: https://www.todaysparent.com/modern-marriage-till-chores-do-us-part/ …
And doing the memory work of a family, which is also societally tagged as feminine, is a lot of work in itself, but not one socially recognized as work.

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