But for women, the strictures are even tighter. Church doctrine means Rebecca was “subject” to her father, and then, when she married, to her husband. Like most women, she married young, had children and has never been permitted to occupy a position of authority over a man, in business or in life.
Also like all women, she sits at the back of the church and cannot speak, except to call out the numbers of the hymns. The unspoken belief among the Brethren, she says, is that nothing a woman could say is important enough to be heard in church.
So her role is to follow the rules, remain quiet, raise her children and look after her house and husband.
In his ministry, Bruce Hales lists the “divine ordering” as God first, then Christ, man, woman. Women should be “attached to their husbands, attached to their children, discreet, chaste, diligent in home work”. If they behave like that, it will “greatly help and improve the state amongst us”.
The exception is unpaid work in church-run enterprises, such as the school, the Brethren-only grocery shop, Campus and Co, and the public-facing charity the Rapid Relief Team.
Members of the Brethren spent millions of dollars and weeks of their time in a highly co-ordinated attempt to help Peter Dutton become prime minister at the last federal election. Even the women stepped out, though they were requested to wear non-Brethren attire to “fly under the radar”.
This is a strictly hierarchical society – where the wealthy, the powerful and the “priestly” sit in the front rows of the assembly and the poorer and less socially acceptable sit up the back. But the lowliest man is further forward than the most respected woman.
Contraception is banned, so the newlyweds will quickly start having Brethren children. And that, says Rebecca, will trap them, as she is trapped, by the fear of losing those children if they leave.
Richardson says now of the religion she was raised in: “It’s a system. It’s not a church, it’s a cult.” She confirmed Rebecca’s view that outspoken women were shameful to their husbands.
“It doesn’t even have to be anything opposing. Even just being a loud, outgoing, sunny person … all forms of self-expression just get trampled out.”
But leaving is still too hard. For a woman, whose only role has been to serve the church and her family, finding a way out is a challenge that seems insurmountable.
