As late as the 1990s, the law sided with fathers over custody on the basis of a woman’s sexuality. I detailed the scandal for Radio 4, and was shocked at the cruelty involved, says journalist Sophie Wilkinson.
I was shocked to learn only recently of the state having removed children from the custody of lesbian mums.
Former politician Linda Bellos struggled through tears to tell us how she lost custody of her children when her youngest was only two, and how she fought for three years just for access. “Winning” meant that one Sunday a month, “a social worker came to bring my children and to stay, to supervise. But the implication that I, because I was a lesbian, would in some way abuse my children, it still makes me sick.” Meanwhile, Jackie Holmes, the adult daughter of film-maker Sandi Hughes, told us how she still suffers from depression due to being separated from her mum when she was eight years old.
Bellos and Holmes, as well as other women we have spoken to, are calling for an apology from the government. The Ministry of Justice has issued a statement to “recognise those societal attitudes as deeply discriminatory” and offer that “our heartfelt sympathies are with all those who suffered as a result”, but this isn’t enough for the families still hurting.
There was no law against lesbians keeping their children. But this was long before the Equality Act, and bias festers in murky grey areas. Judges applied their own homophobic and sexist interpretations of child protection guidelines.
Another woman we interviewed, who spoke on condition of anonymity to protect her two adult children, said that during her custody battle for them, her barrister cited her ex-husband’s rape, adultery and domestic violence. She recalled the judge’s response boiled down to: “I’m not bothered about that. I’m more concerned about not just her lesbianism, but her extreme feminism.” She eventually won custody, but only under strict conditions such as never having a woman to stay and removing all feminist literature from her property.